Unending debates go on about gender equality and redefining (or rather undefining) gender specific roles. But it seems that it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to change the way of thinking that is ingrained deep in the minds, for eons and eons. On one hand there is concious effort to modify this mindset, and the signs of change have started to appear, at least in urban India. But, on the other hand, there is a subtle, sub-concious chain of events perpetrating the conventional thought process.
The latter point was driven home to me while browsing in one of the local bookstores. I have seen books relating fairy tales and bedtime stories a countless number of times, but it was the first time I saw a book titiled "Bedtime stories for Boys" (which had stories like Aladdin and Pinochio) and another book titled "Bedtime stories for Girls" (which had stories like Cindrella and Sleeping Beauty). What direction are we trying to give to the impressionable minds of those innocent children ?
Another one is the case of a senior, highly regarded, and well experienced (male) colleague, who is quitting his well paying job to join a start-up firm. The firm has no funding as of now, and he is joining more or less in the capacity of a founding member, and is going to work from home, without any renumeration, for at least some time to come. He evidently has means of supporting the family for this time, but that is not the question. The point is that he is hailed for his courage and admired for his motivation and faith. The thought that crossed my mind was what if it was a female colleague who had taken this step - how would the people around have reacted ? I am strongly inclined to believe that in that case, the prevailing opinion would be that she wants to take a break from work after working for so many years - to take it easy.
How many people who happen to read this, can honestly share their opinion on the question I asked myself.
It also reminds me of an article I read about the way the actions of working men and women are differently interpreted in office. It was in a lighter vein, but I find a disturbing, sad reality underlying the humor.
[I could not find a suitable link, so I am pasting the contents here] And again, how many can honestly say they have not had a thought along these lines ...
HE
He has a family picture on his desk. He is a responsible family man!
He has a cluttered desk. He is a hard worker!
SHE
She has a family picture on her desk. She places family before career!
She has a cluttered desk. What a scatterbrain!
HE
He is talking with co-workers. He must be discussing the latest deal!
He is not at his desk. He must be at a meeting!
SHE
She is talking with co-workers. She must be gossiping!
She is not at her desk. She must be in the ladies' room!
HE
He is having lunch with the boss. He must be on his way up!
He was criticized by the boss. He will improve his performance!
SHE
She is having lunch with the boss. They must be having an affair!
She was criticized by the boss. She will be very upset!
HE
He is getting married. He will be more settled!
He is having a baby. He'll need a raise!
SHE
She is getting married. She will get pregnant and leave!
She is having a baby. She will cost the company plenty in maternity leave!
HE
He is going on a business trip. It is good for his career!
He is leaving for a better job. He recognizes a good opportunity!
SHE
She is going on a business trip. What will her husband say?
She is leaving for a better job. Women are not dependable!
The latter point was driven home to me while browsing in one of the local bookstores. I have seen books relating fairy tales and bedtime stories a countless number of times, but it was the first time I saw a book titiled "Bedtime stories for Boys" (which had stories like Aladdin and Pinochio) and another book titled "Bedtime stories for Girls" (which had stories like Cindrella and Sleeping Beauty). What direction are we trying to give to the impressionable minds of those innocent children ?
Another one is the case of a senior, highly regarded, and well experienced (male) colleague, who is quitting his well paying job to join a start-up firm. The firm has no funding as of now, and he is joining more or less in the capacity of a founding member, and is going to work from home, without any renumeration, for at least some time to come. He evidently has means of supporting the family for this time, but that is not the question. The point is that he is hailed for his courage and admired for his motivation and faith. The thought that crossed my mind was what if it was a female colleague who had taken this step - how would the people around have reacted ? I am strongly inclined to believe that in that case, the prevailing opinion would be that she wants to take a break from work after working for so many years - to take it easy.
How many people who happen to read this, can honestly share their opinion on the question I asked myself.
It also reminds me of an article I read about the way the actions of working men and women are differently interpreted in office. It was in a lighter vein, but I find a disturbing, sad reality underlying the humor.
[I could not find a suitable link, so I am pasting the contents here] And again, how many can honestly say they have not had a thought along these lines ...
HE
He has a family picture on his desk. He is a responsible family man!
He has a cluttered desk. He is a hard worker!
SHE
She has a family picture on her desk. She places family before career!
She has a cluttered desk. What a scatterbrain!
HE
He is talking with co-workers. He must be discussing the latest deal!
He is not at his desk. He must be at a meeting!
SHE
She is talking with co-workers. She must be gossiping!
She is not at her desk. She must be in the ladies' room!
HE
He is having lunch with the boss. He must be on his way up!
He was criticized by the boss. He will improve his performance!
SHE
She is having lunch with the boss. They must be having an affair!
She was criticized by the boss. She will be very upset!
HE
He is getting married. He will be more settled!
He is having a baby. He'll need a raise!
SHE
She is getting married. She will get pregnant and leave!
She is having a baby. She will cost the company plenty in maternity leave!
HE
He is going on a business trip. It is good for his career!
He is leaving for a better job. He recognizes a good opportunity!
SHE
She is going on a business trip. What will her husband say?
She is leaving for a better job. Women are not dependable!
8 comments:
I agree with you that it happens , however I have sailed through life seeing the other side. Me and my 2 siblings we were always treated as individualist - not on gender basis.
Even till today we sort of work as team - one person of the family good at something - takes on that,and similarly everyone contributes accordingly.There is nothing like Girls can do this or Guys can do that.
Hey Sigma - I think you should seriously start thinking of joining my company...lol....just to prove that most of the things which you have mentioned actually applied to other gender....he he he...just kidding...well nobody is spared when it comes to certain things....sabka bharta ban jata hai....
very true ! while on one side somethings between men n women are becoming more common, on the other side someother things are getting more specific (like pink is for girls in US - all pinky things r for gals n if a guy wears or uses them he's a gay). But honestly i believe all this is a pure marketing strategy (whether it be pink motorazr for gals or ur bedtime stories for girls) and those brands try to influence their customers in a specific direction n they do succeed to a extent.
I personally believe its ok to have distinction as long as it doesnt become discrimination. streotyped woman is sensitive and stereotyped man is leader. but we do have women n men of both sides. As far as i see the level of discrimination has almost touched zero in urban india and from middle to well off families.
Interesting!
But so true :-P
Agree, the stereotypes are always present but at work, honestly, I haven't come across them making much of a difference except to gossip-mongers!
I mean during my work-life, I haven't seen anyone being unfair to anyone because of Gender. For any person of either gender good with his/her work, I have seen equal treatment.
Also, to tell the story from the other side, I have had superiors who were less harsh with my female colleagues than my male colleagues!
I wanted to comment on this one but the saying which goes as, "There is a special place in hell for a man who doesnot support man and there is a more special place in hell for a man who supports woman", stopped me. :-)
Hmmm ... there are so many lines of thoughts that I might need to write a follow-up post on this. Thank you all for sharing your opinion.
@BTR: I agree, that most parents in urban India now bring up their kids without discriminating between boys and girls, as far as the education, choice of career etc go.
It is in other things, most of them small and subtle, and not necessarily only by parents, that the differentiation shows.One significant example could be sharing of household chores - girls are "supposed" to do things like cooking and cleaning better, boys are "supposed" to be better at outdoor activities, like getting things from the market, dealing with labour etc.
Join your company ? Sure ... I'll just ready my resume !! But are you sure, they'll take me - I, who write bug-free code (bugs come free with the code ;-) )
@Maverick: I think you have a gen of a thought there -
"I personally believe its ok to have distinction as long as it doesnt become discrimination."
Marketing gimmick - this is another line of thought I agree with, to quite an extent (but in certain aspects only). I think the best example of this would be 'Fair and Lovely' - that has been sold in India for decades [supposed to make girls look fairer, and therefore, lovelier - to make them more likely to get a good groom ;-)] An year or so back, the company launched 'Fair and Handsome' - exclusively for guys - to do them the same favor. [Btw, this is one of the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of.]
@Ash: Hmmmmmm ... would you like to post a pic on your blog to depict this idea ?
@LeziB: I also have not come across much discrimination due to gender at my workplace. But perhaps, in our industry, it is not so apparent. On the other hand, there is far lesser percentage of men than women (at least in my company), and still lesser percentage at the higher technical and managerial levels.
What you have said about some seniors being less harsh towards women subordinates is true. But there are seniors who are biased against women only because of their gender. In school and college I have come across teachers who favored girls more, and some who treated girls condescendingly. That is what the streotyping is about ! :-)
@Shobhendu: Diplomatic. Hmmm. Look again, I requested for honest opinion :-)
I am exception, perhaps. I answered the questionnaire postively. :)
I have always had respect for my counterparts as being equal.
Infact, male and female are not equal, they are complimentary, supplementary to each other. Like key and lock, neither of them serve their true purpose alone.
Male and female, for centuries, had different roles to play. Male was hunter to protect and feed the family, and female was nest defender looking after the family raising the children.
But since the last century, the male role is slowly diminishing, as well civilised society take prvoides necessar security/protection to woman.
I can see , in few decades male will be raising voices for equal treatments :)
@JV: We have another interesting idea there -
"in few decades male will be raising voices for equal treatments"
Lol!!
But jokes apart, I think those decades will take long long time to come.
Post a Comment